Aliveness: A Birthday Reflection / by Amy DeRosia

 This is my Mimi enjoying some cider on her 85th birthday. She's a cutie, huh?

This is my Mimi enjoying some cider on her 85th birthday. She's a cutie, huh?

My favorite age is now.
— Kirsten Dunst

Today is my birthday! I've never felt more empty or more full. But mostly, I am grateful for an alive year.

There have been quite a few years in the past where I didn't feel like much was happening. You can go a long time without trying something new or getting out of your comfort zone. This type of inaction made me feel stuck, restless, and scared of failure.

This has been a year of motion. I've learned how to give and receive more help than I ever thought was possible. There has been a lot of laughter and tears. I've made mistakes and succeeded, had plenty of awkward moments, and learned a lot through experience. I feel more confident but uncomfortable too.

Aliveness is much more rewarding than stagnancy. But it still hasn't been easy. When you try to show up in your life fully, you feel depleted a lot of the time. I'm still figuring out how to manage my stress and take good care of myself.

I'm still learning to let go of who I think I'm supposed to be and allow things evolve naturally. There are so many things to look forward to and incredible people in my life. Thank you for being a part of it. 

My wish for you on my birthday is that you find the courage to go after what you want. I hope we all continue to feel more alive as we get older.